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I Broke Weight Watchers

So I started Weight Watchers on April 1st (no joke) because I hate diets and exercise but want to lose weight. Anyone else? I picked this because it wasn’t going to make me give up all happiness or force me into some insane workout program with a lady named Autumn that I usually just yell swear words at (sorry God).

Signed up, put in my info. And SOMEHOW I managed to tell the good people at Weight Watchers that I weighed 437.8 pounds. That is absolutely not the truth. Two of me don’t weight that! So, I went in and updated the starting weight so the points would be right and so I would actually be on the right track.

Only, somehow (are you noticing how tech savvy I can be?) I told the app that I LOST a ton of weight when I updated my weight, so now I have earned every “milestone award” in the Weight Watchers app in the span of one week. This morning, they congratulated me again for losing more than 200 pounds and asked me to share my success story with the community.

Ugh. No. I didn’t. I have lost 6 pounds and I’m ACTUALLY annoyed that I didn’t get my LEGIT 5 pounds lost milestone award. Turns out that badges in apps are more of an incentive than watching a perky, toned tummy teacher tell me I was getting closer to looking like her. 

Easy enough fix though, right? Just reset something in the app. Nope. Doesn’t work. That’s how I got all these illegal badges. Go to the site online and fix it there? Nope. I have clicked every single clickable thing on that site. There’s nothing there. FAQ? Apparently, I’m the first person to ever do this. And I can’t find a way to get a human. At all.

So for now, this is my badge. I lost 5 pounds! Actually just over 7….but badges go by 5’s. And I don’t hate life, I’m not hungry, and I worked out like twice. WAY less than any other plan would have me doing, which is just fine for me.
But FOR REAL, anyone ever do this? Or am I really the first in WW history? And if so….where’s my badge for that!? Or have you successfully found an email address to contact them for help…I’m striking out over here.